Reflections random words

 My heart is broken so many random feelings and emotions 

Grief comes in waves sometimes small waves followed by big waves then tsunamis 

Then periods of serene calmness and before you know it starts all over again 

I’ve been saying the words “thank you” all the time it seems to be the only words I can master 

I’m eating I’m drinking that’s mostly what people around me keep telling me “you must keep your strength up “ nothing tastes good “ you should not be alone at this time “ is another but I do want to be alone alone with my thoughts my memories my pain 

Every move I make every time I look at something at home on the street every time I read the condolence cards and messages from all the lovely people that mean us well everything reminds me of the “Love “ I lost me and my sweet cat Max we both lay around trying to sleep rest even in our dreams the Grief remains a constant thing Max as not stopped calling crying for the friend that everyday use to cuddle up on the sofa on the bed I try to comfort him playing the role of two loving papa’s but it’s hard “Love “ had a way to make Max an me feel safe feel wanted feel loved 

Is it all a dream? I hope not it hurts so much 

MMaxi random words and thoughts